Chopped

Think of this as a holiday piece.  I usually have something serious to say.  Not this time around.  This is a totally frivolous piece.  No great analysis.  No deep meaning.  Just fun.

"Chopped" is a TV show I have gotten into.  I think with me it's a fad and at some point I will lose interest and drop it.  But at the moment it fascinates me.  From a business perspective, it's anything but frivolous.  It has had 35 "seasons" (they seem to constitute 13 episode blocks), has aired continuously since 2009, and is getting close to broadcasting its 500th episode.  It normally airs on Tuesday evenings on the Food Network and, as far as I can tell, its popularity remains strong.  So I expect it to continue on long after I have tired of it.  And that's fine with me.

"Chopped" is nominally a cooking competition show.  But the emphasis falls heavily on the competition aspect.  It requires superior cooking skills to be competitive but its format seems tailor made to guarantee that the food produced will often be mediocre at best.  That's why I say it is mostly about the competition and not so much about the cooking.

The maser of ceremonies is Ted Allen.  He gained fame by being one of the "fab five" on a show called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy".  Ted and the rest of the band were out gay men before that was common.   In each show they would help out a straight guy with a problem by applying their "queer eye" to, for instance, help him throw a party or redecorate his apartment.  Each of them had a specialty.  One of them was a decorator.  One of them was a fashion guy.  And Ted was the food guy.  The show was ground breaking, very popular at its peak, and introduced a lot of Americans to gay men being gay men.  Ted's "foodie" credentials on "Queer eye" led him to the job at "Chopped"

The show has an extremely tight format.  There is little or no variation from show to show.  Think "Jeopardy!" but with food.  Four contestants are judged by a three person panel typically consisting of working chefs.  Each contestant has to prepare a course while a clock counts down.  After each course a contestant is chopped (i.e. kicked off the show), hence the title.  The line "if your dish doesn't cut it you will be chopped" is repeated frequently.  After three rounds, typically, Appetizer, Entrée, and Dessert, three contestants have been chopped and we have a single "chopped champion" left who receives $10,000.  (We are told the other contestants get nothing but apparently their expenses are covered and they get a $1,000 gift certificate.)

What makes this so tough is that for each round the contestants are presented with identical baskets containing four "mystery ingredients".  All four ingredients, which are revealed when they open their baskets just before the clock starts, must be incorporated into the dish.  And the ingredients are selected so that they do not go together.  There is also heavy emphasis on the exotic.  The show is filmed in New York and it is hard to imagine it being filmed anywhere else.

The producers must come up with 12 mystery ingredients per show.  Over the run of the show that means about 6,000 different ingredients.  (I'm sure they occasionally repeat an ingredient but this does not happen often.)  There is rarely a round in which I even recognize all of the mystery ingredients, let alone have any idea what I would do with them.  New York with it's many ethnic enclaves with their own specialty shops is almost a necessity when it comes to finding enough different items.

On the other hand the producers do provide a nice cooking setup for the contestants.  Each contestant has their own station consisting of a work area in front and a stove behind.  They are provided with a wide assortment of coking utensils and equipment.  Off to the side is an area containing additional equipment that can be used on a "first come - first served" basis.  This area houses a hot oil fryer, blast chiller, ice cream machine, and many other devices.  It is common for more than one contestant to want to use say the fryer or the ice cream machine.  Contestants are expected to not hog a machine but there are no formal rules about sharing.

And the "no formal rules" part is also true of the judging.  There are almost no formal rules governing how the judges decide who gets chopped.  Contestants are supposed to stop cooking when time is up.  Contestants are expected to produce a dish that contains all four ingredients.  But if a contestant omits an ingredient it does not automatically result in getting chopped.  But a hard rule is that if a contestant omits an ingredient from some but not all plates (shorts a plate) all the shorted plates will go to a judge.

Besides the two areas mentioned above (and the area occupied by Ted and the judges) there is a pantry area that contains a wide assortment of ingredients commonly found in a well stocked commercial kitchen.  Industrial refrigerators are stocked with ingredients that need to be refrigerated like milk, butter, etc.  There is also a section for fruit and other fresh foods.  The selection is seasonal but broad.  How broad?  It seems to contain edible flowers a goodly amount of the time.  There are also a section with dried staples (sugar, flour, taco shells, etc.) and another section with a broad selection of spices.  (Contestants get a tour of this area before taping starts so they know what's available here and get an idea of where things are located.)

It is possible to prepare very good meals in this environment except for a couple of things.  You have a very short period of time to work with.  The actual cooking must be done in 20 minutes for the Appetizer, and 30 minutes each for the Entrée and Dessert.  For some particularly difficult baskets a more generous time limit (i.e. 30 minutes for the Appetizer or 45 minutes for the Entrée) is used.

But the biggest problem is the mystery ingredients.  They are selected to be incompatible with each other.  And one or more of them often normally takes a long time to prepare properly.  As an example a cut of tough meat like those used by barbeque restaurants might be included.  Normally it would be cooked over show heat for as long as 12 hours.  But the contestant has to figure out a way to deliver a tender and flavorful "do" on this ingredient (and the rest of the basket) in the 30 minutes allotted.

What we as viewers see is a 60 minute show (44 minutes, if you ignore the commercials).  It has been edited down from actual events.  Various online sources indicate that it takes 12 - 20 hours to shoot an episode.  Needless to say, even allowing for "prep" time and other "behind the scenes" activity, a lot of what goes on ends up on the cutting room floor.  We get more of a "highlights from" that an accurate picture of what actually goes on.  But one thing that is apparently portrayed accurately is that contestants have less than a minute between when they find out what's in the basket and when the count-down clock starts ticking.

Anyhow, as indicated above the show follows an extremely rigid format.  Everybody is introduced.  The first basket is opened.  The contestants cook.  They are then lined up in front of the judges.  Each contestant must prepare four plates.  Each judge gets one and the fourth goes under a cover.  In turn each contestant describes what they have prepared, the judges sample and comment on it and we move on to the next contestant.  The contestants are then herded into a holding pen and Ted and the judges confer.  The contestants are brought back and Ted removes the cover and displays the dish of the chopped contestant.  A judge explains their combined decision, the contestant exits, and we move on to the next round.  Or, in the case of the final round, the winner is given a check for $10,000, is declared to be a "chopped champ", and makes a few short remarks.  Roll credits.

Somewhere along the line the contestants are interviewed fairly extensively.  They are asked to discuss their decisions and the thinking behind them or to react to events such as getting chopped.  Portions of this are laid into the audio track or inserted into footage of the action.

The whole show is built around a countdown clock.  During the timed portions of the action we are frequently getting shots of the countdown clock telling us how much time is left.  A clock motif is used to get us into and out of the commercial breaks.  Ted starts the clock counting down with "Clock starts now".    When the clock runs out he announces that "time's up - step back".  And, of course, dramatic and suspenseful music is playing in the background of a goodly part of the show.

If that's not enough Ted is often heard shouting out how much time is left.  And then he ostentatiously counts the last ten seconds down.  This is to a chorus of shouts from the judges giving useless encouragement and generally making a ruckus as the contestants rush to put the finishing touches on their plates.  If I was trying to finish something tricky up I would not want a bunch of maniacal people shouting at me.  But apparently this is common behavior in commercial kitchens so it really isn't out of line.

The judges do provide an actual service to the viewer.  They engage in what writers call "maid and butler dialog".  This is when the maid tells the butler (or vice versa) something they both already know as a vehicle for the author telling the reader something they need to know.  In the context of the show judges will frequently discuss an ingredient or technique that many audience members (i. e. me) are unfamiliar with so we know what it is and how it might be used in a dish.  They also will suggest how two ingredients might be combined to harmoniously create something.

But there seem to be rules as to how far they can go.  With all the rushing around it is common for a contestant to lose track and burn something.  The judges seem to always confine themselves to a general statement like "I smell something burning" rather than a specific statement like "the rice at Joe's station is burning".  It is also not clear whether the contestants can even hear what the judges are saying in these cases.

I suppose that at some level this show can teach you something about cooking.  I don't cook and have no interest in learning.  So that sort of thing is wasted on me.  But what I think it is terrible at is showing people how to put dishes together that taste really good.

The contestants are forced to compromise.  It is possible that two or three ingredients can be combined harmoniously.  But there is always at least one ringer.  Yet the contestants are supposed to create a single dish in which all four ingredients can be tasted.  But often the best thing that can be done to enhance the flavor of a dish as a whole is to omit completely one or more of the basket ingredients.  But that comes close to being a chopping offense.  If done deliberately it would probably result in an automatic shop.

Another approach would be to make one thing with some of the basket ingredients and another completely different thing with the others.  Then present them as completely separate components on the dish that are to be eaten separately.  This is frowned upon and substantially increases the probability of a chop.

Some tricks are permitted or even encouraged.  A contestant can, for instance, create a soup containing some ingredients that goes to the side while the rest of the ingredients are in the preparation on the main plate.  But the flavor of the soup should compliment the rest and it should be possible to combine a bit of soup with a bit of the rest when the judges taste the dish so they end up with a single integrated harmonious bite.

Another permitted trick is to, for instance, make a rub or coating for your meat or fish that uses a problematic ingredient.  Or you can make a sauce that is smeared elegantly on the plate before the other ingredients are added or drizzled on top of your main preparation.  But it is expected that the judges will combine these components into one "bite" and taste that.  If the result works then you are a winner.

But it is often not possible (or it is beyond the capability of the contestants for one reason or another) to create a single dish that combines all the basket ingredients and still tastes really good. So what happens most of the time is the contestants strive for balance, a dish that is neither too sweet nor too sour, neither too bland nor too spicy, neither too this nor too that.  If an ingredient is too bland you try to spice it up.  If it is too spicy you try to tamp the heat down.  If it has little or no taste you try to amp it up somehow.  The result is a dish in which all four flavors can be detected but the dish is not much of anything and particularly not too delicious.

And my personal tastes tend toward the simple.  I like good quality ingredients that have not been messed with much.  Let the quality and taste of the original ingredients shine through.  But the judges expect each basket ingredient to be transformed.  So an ingredient might be an apple pie or ice cream or something else that already tastes great.  Contestants, however, are not supposed to leave it alone.  So, for instance, a contestant can use ice cream from the basket to make a different kind of ice cream or as a component that goes into something entirely different.  A contestant could turn a strawberry pie from the basket into a strawberry rhubarb pie.  But in no case should an ingredient just be left alone.

I don't know what the dishes the contestants end up with actually taste like.  I would be a terrible judge for many reasons.  The biggest one is that I am a picky eater and my food preferences sound peculiar even to me.  So there are lots of basket ingredients I wouldn't eat no matter what.  But I suspect that if I did get past my hang ups I would find most of the dishes mediocre and some tasting actually awful.  It is so hard to not make the combinations taste not awful that the best that can be achieved most of the time is mediocrity.  So there's that.

Then there's the fact that the judges sample four dishes in the first round, three in the second, and two in the third.   So that's 36 basket ingredients plus whatever the contestants have thrown in along side the basket ingredients.  The result is that for the most part the judges don't eat all of what's on the plate.  They just take a taste of this and a taste of that.  It's like wine tasting.  Judges take a little sip, evaluate it, and spit it out.  They miss out on a whole lot of very good wine.  But that's the job.

As far as I can tell, the "Chopped" judges don't spit anything out.  And I think in many cases they are being asked to taste something that came out badly.  So they aren't missing out on that much great food.  But I suspect they don't eat anything that isn't part of the tasting on show days because if they did they would be stuffed by the end of the day.  And even if a dish starts out pretty good it may sit around long enough to get cold before it's time for the judges to taste it.  The whole process is not conducive to the production of tasty food.

And something that bothers me personally is that a good portion of the food that is prepared for the judges goes to waste.  And the contestants are not required to use all of the ingredient that is in the basket so they usually don't.  They are often given a large piece of meat, say a leg of lamb, for instance.  Only a small amount of it will end up on a plate.  The rest gets thrown away.  As is whatever portion of the ingredients taken from the pantry that didn't end up on a plate.  As is the plate of food that goes under the cover.

And what happens to all the perishables the pantry is stocked with that don't end up getting used? I suspect they are given away to a food bank but the official web site is silent on this and much more.  I find myself musing on the wastage as I watch the show.

That said, the show does suck me in.  And the contestants are incredibly talented.  Putting something, anything, on the plate in the time allowed and under the conditions they have to work in (all of the above plus a bunch of roving cameras poking everywhere) is incredibly impressive.  But they do.  And it is obvious that they are very skilled at the business of cooking.

A lot they do is the sort of thing where even somebody like me can tell if they are an expert or not.  And they are experts.  They also are very articulate about what they are doing and why they are doing it.  This comes through very clearly in the commentary included in the broadcast.  I can't tell based on my own personal expertise if they are making the right choices because I have no personal expertise in this area.  I am forced to rely on the opinion of the judges for that.  But the commentary tells me that, right or wrong, there is intention behind their actions.  And I respect that.

And the whole countdown/contest element totally works.  I'm sure that most of the contestants most of the time could prepare better dishes if only they had more time.  But everybody knows this going in.  It's speed chess not tournament chess so adjust your game accordingly.  Lots of good cooks have gotten chopped by managing their time poorly or trying to do things that can't be done in the allowed time.  Nobody thinks they are the one that is going to make this mistake.  But it happens regularly.  And that's one of the guilty pleasures of watching the show.

Someone is going to get chopped even if all the contestants prepare great dishes (except see below).  But on the flip side if all the contestants prepare crummy dishes at least one of them will survive.  The judging is relative.  So it doesn't matter how good or bad you do.  It matters that you do better than at least one of your competitors.  It must be extremely frustrating to do well but get beat out by someone who happened on that day and at that time to do better.

And there is definitely a luck factor involved.  You can make your own bad luck by forgetting to plate an ingredient for whatever reason.  Or you can drop something or lose track and let something burn.  But the worst bad luck is to get cut.  Good chefs use incredibly sharp knives.  And this very sharp knife, incidentally designed to cut meat, is flying close to your hand while you are trying to keep track of a million things.  A hard and fast rule on the show is when you get cut you have to stop.  There is a first aid person on site.  That person needs to make sure your cut is cleaned and bandaged before you can continue.  And any food you have bled on can't be eaten.  And what can't be eaten can't be judged.

But in most episodes none of that comes into play.  The judges still have to come up with someone to be chopped.  And the process is entirely subjective.  If we were there to see the food and if we could taste it then this might make their decisions may seem less arbitrary.  The judges evaluate every dish.  But most of what goes into their evaluations is either not available to us (i.e. how the food actually tastes) or ends up on the cutting room floor.

If we had all the video it might make the process seem less arbitrary.  I also think the commentary is edited together with the intention of making it hard for viewers to determine who did well and who did badly.  All contestants in a particular round seem to either do poorly or do well, if you go by the commentary we see.  This makes for more drama and excitement, better TV.  But it also makes it harder for us at home to tell if the judges chopped the right person.

Good reality TV (from a viewing perspective) is not reality.  It is artificial in that it has been manipulated.  We want drama, lots of drama.  And the manipulation often goes far beyond the "just show us the exciting parts" kind of thing.  In a typical "follow a bunch of people around" show like any of the "Real Housewives" shows, situations are manipulated and the participants are manipulated.  "Did you hear what so and so said about you?"  The participants would have to be pretty dim to not realize what's going on.  But most of them are smart enough to know that a lot of conflict and drama, a lot of shouting and carrying on, is what is going to make the show a success.  And they want the show to be a success and their part in the show to be significant.  So they go along.

It is well known that on "The Jerry Springer Show" people will manufacture a shocking and mostly fictitious scenario to sell to the producers.  The producers know this is going on.  But they are adept at being appropriately oblivious.  All they care about is if the group is good enough to maintain "plausible deniability".  "We had no idea they were pulling the wool over our eyes, honest."  Everybody ends up happy.  A bunch of people make it onto TV that otherwise wouldn't be able to.  The show gets good ratings.  The group may let their friends know that the fix was in but they do what they can to not spoil a good thing for the next group coming down the block.

I am not a fan of the "Real Housewives", "Jerry Springer", etc. school of reality shows.  But I am okay with the kinds of manipulations Chopped does.  And I'm sure the producers carefully evaluate potential contestants looking for those they think will carry themselves well on TV.  But its a show that takes real skill to succeed at and none of the contestants are being the least bit deceptive.  The only real surprise contestants note is that it is much harder to win than they thought going in.  And you probably have to be a little bit crazy to want to appear on the show so that bit of self deception is probably for the good.

"Springer, "Housewives", and similar shows need villains, the more hiss-able the better. The Chopped producers are happy if the audience likes and roots for everyone.  Someone must be chopped.  But the judges aren't being villainous when they chop someone.  They are just doing their job.  Similarly, a contestant is not a bad person because they lost.  It's just that someone had to be chopped.

Finally, in one round of one episode the judges only said nice things about all three contestants and didn't chop anyone.  But they announced at the time that this had never happened before.  And they then proceeded to chop two contestants in the final round so there was only one winner in the end.  So in the world of Chipped and for one round it is possible for everyone to win.  And that's a nice place to leave things.  Happy holidays.